Yesterday marked 2 years of marriage for the wife and me. We spent the day running around Dallas, playing arcade games, and catching a movie (Tron. It’s pretty awesome.)
I’m pretty wiped out, so all I have to say is that I love you, Kristen. And here’s to many more awesome years together.
(An on-going project to discover truth in and about ourselves. See the others here)
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
This is sort of a silly prompt. I don’t live my life for anyone. I live my life because it’s my life to live. It’s not a matter of selfishness, because I have often (and will continue) to give parts of my life to other people. Much of my life has been given to my wife, my family. But I don’t live it for them. I don’t stay alive because of them.
That’s not to say they haven’t been a source of inspiration in my life, a pick-me-up when I get frustrated or tired. How could they not be? I mean, when you’ve given so much of yourself to these people, it becomes a matter of making sure you can continue to do that. Perhaps this is the same thing as “living your life for them,” but I don’t think so. The whole idea presented in this prompt is a bit melodramatic, I think.
I picture a man trying to swim across an ocean, and the only thing that keeps him going is some lost love on the other shore. Otherwise, he’d just quit and drown. I don’t guess I’ve reached that point. I may have given up on a few select projects or what have you, but I don’t imagine I would have laid down and died.
I also realize that this post is, on its face, contradictory to my last post. But I also don’t think it is. Just because I can’t really fathom a life without my wife or family, that doesn’t mean I can’t handle it, or that I wouldn’t continue on. It just means that I don’t want to, not that I can’t.
In any event, I guess this is all a non-answer to the question. But I don’t think you should ever live your life for someone else. You can choose to include others in your life, and you can choose to give of your life to other, but in the end, it’s your life. Not anyone else’s. And if your life isn’t worth living but for another person? Maybe you should reevaluate your priorities.
(An on-going project to discover truth in and about ourselves. See the others here)
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
As I was thinking about this post, it began to dawn on me how incredibly selfish my answer to this question is. And how utterly unrealistic it is.
I hope I never have to watch a loved one die. Okay. There it is. It’s cliche and lame, and I know that, but it’s still my answer all the same. I do not fear death. I never really have. What I fear is living alone. My parents or my brother or my wife dead, and some how or other, I’ve survived them all. I hope I never have to see that happen. Even though I know I probably will, for some at least.
It’s an undeniable fact of life that it ends. I fear not that end for me, but for them. Because it means I’ll be left here alone. I know, right? That’s pretty disgustingly selfish, but I can’t help it. I really just can’t imagine how things will be without them. We may not always agree or get along, but dammit, we’re close. And I depend on all of them. In some way or other, anyhow.
I hope I never have to watch them die. I hope I never have to figure out how to pick up the pieces and move on. I hope I never have to sit in some church alone amidst the empty faces sitting around me. I hope I never have to give a heart-felt eulogy when I won’t even know how to feel inside.
I hope I never have to. But I know I probably will. And I hope I can handle it when I do.
(This post is inspired by Reverb10)
December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.
Party. “a social gathering, as of invited guests at a private home, for conversation, refreshments, entertainment, etc.: a cocktail party.” (dictionary.com) Not pictured: Me.
I’m not a big social butterfly. I’m more comfortable with my laptop and a blanket than I am in trendy clothes with a bunch of people and loud music. It’s not that I don’t enjoy some company from time to time, but parties are so very often so impersonal and shallow. They get dominated by the most flamboyant, leaving the wallflowers like me to stand around awkwardly, wondering how long I need to stay before I can leave without being rude.
So, I can’t think of a single party I attended in 2010. And that’s just fine. I went, on several occassions out to dinner with a couple friends. I had a few friends over to the house and made them dinner. We had a beer or two, watched some movies. Had a good time. But no loud music. No rambunctious people. Just good times. Good friends.
Maybe my problem is I’ve never been to the right kind of party. But at nearly every one I’ve ever been to, I always just end up feeling awkward and left out. So, down with the parties, I say. Up with the smaller get-togethers. One or two people. Some good food, good beer, and even better conversation.
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