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December 19, 2010 

30 Days of Truth 7: Someone To Live For

(An on-going project to discover truth in and about ourselves. See the others here)

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

This is sort of a silly prompt. I don’t live my life for anyone. I live my life because it’s my life to live. It’s not a matter of selfishness, because I have often (and will continue) to give parts of my life to other people. Much of my life has been given to my wife, my family. But I don’t live it for them. I don’t stay alive because of them.

That’s not to say they haven’t been a source of inspiration in my life, a pick-me-up when I get frustrated or tired. How could they not be? I mean, when you’ve given so much of yourself to these people, it becomes a matter of making sure you can continue to do that. Perhaps this is the same thing as “living your life for them,” but I don’t think so. The whole idea presented in this prompt is a bit melodramatic, I think.

I picture a man trying to swim across an ocean, and the only thing that keeps him going is some lost love on the other shore. Otherwise, he’d just quit and drown. I don’t guess I’ve reached that point. I may have given up on a few select projects or what have you, but I don’t imagine I would have laid down and died.

I also realize that this post is, on its face, contradictory to my last post. But I also don’t think it is. Just because I can’t really fathom a life without my wife or family, that doesn’t mean I can’t handle it, or that I wouldn’t continue on. It just means that I don’t want to, not that I can’t.

In any event, I guess this is all a non-answer to the question. But I don’t think you should ever live your life for someone else. You can choose to include others in your life, and you can choose to give of your life to other, but in the end, it’s your life. Not anyone else’s. And if your life isn’t worth living but for another person? Maybe you should reevaluate your priorities.

December 17, 2010 

Try

(This post inspired by Reverb10.)

December 18 – Try What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for?

In 2011, I want to try to do a lot of things, most of them pretty small, but important steps to being a better person.

I want to try to be a more consistent blogger. I’ve been doing a pretty good job so far, but I want to get better. Produce ever-better content, make this place something people want to read.

I want to try to be a better husband. To be a little more empathetic. A little more helpful. It’s hard. And I know I’ve got a lot of room for improvement here.

I want to try to cut back on spending. To save more money so we can achieve our goals sooner.

I want to try to get back in school. To start a graduate degree. To pursue the dream of a life in academia.

This past year was not a year or trial and error. It was a year of survival. Of regrouping. Of positioning ourselves for a better future. It’s time to start pursuing that future.

December 15, 2010 

A Very Retail Christmas: An Open Letter

I’ve worked in retail environments for a number of years. So I should be used to the way people behave, but I’m surprised by it every year. This is an open letter to the general populace.

The selfishness, the anger, the ridiculousness. It never ceases to amaze me how childish you people can be when you don’t get your way. When you don’t get the blue one, because only the red ones are left. When the store IS RUINING CHRISTMAS for your children because they have the wrong Spiderman action figure. Ugh.

I just want to grab you and shake you until you’re dizzy and drooling. Tell you just to chill out. Because, hey, they’ve still got Spiderman toys. YOUR CHILD’S CHRISTMAS IS NOT RUINED. Because they’re still getting presents, they’re still going to feel loved, they’re still going to just disregard them in a few days anyway.

CHRISTMAS IS SAVED, but the world is a worse place because you can’t seem to grow up. Can’t seem to see past your own nose. Can’t seem to comprehend a world outside of you. So get over yourself. Take a long look at your life, your family. Be happy. Get the other toy instead. Because, after all, it’s still going to be awesome for your kid. The world won’t collapse. Your child (probably) won’t murder you in your sleep. It’s still going to be great watching your kid tear into all those presents you bought.

No matter what, no action great or small, can ever stop the world from spinning. Remember that.

Sincerely,
Thursday’s Child

December 1, 2010 

When I Grow Up

When you are 5: When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut. A fireman. A police officer. A ninja turtle. A G.I. Joe. A fairy princess. A prince. Rich. Famous. Powerful.

When you are 15: When I grow up, I want to be a teacher. A soldier. A college student. An executive. A doctor. A Lawyer. Rich.

When you are 25: When I grow up, I want to be happy. Successful. Rich. A mother. A father. A business owner. My own boss.

It’s funny how dreams and goals change as we get older. They become less fanciful, more practical. And I guess that makes sense. As we get older, we have a better grasp on how things work, on how the world really plays out, and it’s less a matter of being jaded, more a matter of being realistic. Pragmatic. And that’s a good thing, for sure. I mean, not everyone can be an astronaut or a fairy princess.

I guess I’ve just found myself thinking a lot lately about dreams and goals, and how to make them happen. It struck me as funny today how drastically different they are today than they were 5 years ago. 10 years ago. 20 years ago. Today, it’s graduate school, and a PhD, some day teaching as a professor. At some future date, I would also like to open a restaurant, or at least have a giant kitchen where I can cook lots of food for friends and family.

I once had dreams of being an engineer. Of developing weapons. Making things that protect some people and kill others. I don’t now know why I was so interested in that field, but that’s what I wanted to do. R&D development for GE. Now, I can’t even imagine doing that job. I realized that engineering would drive me nuts, and as for the weapons part, I cannot imagine myself building machines made to kill people. But that was the plan. The goal. The dream.

Now, I’d prefer to trade the lab coat for tweed, the calipers for a pen, and a lathe for a poem. And I’m okay with that.

What were some of your old dreams or goals that have now changed to better fit who you’ve become?

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