I’ve been reading some of these 30 Days of Truth posts around the web, and I decided I’d join in. I’m not going to be doing it 30 days straight, I’ll do it on Sundays, and maybe again during the week if I’m feeling particularly inspired about the prompt at the time.
The prompts are from here.
Here are the prompts:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Day 1: Something You Hate about yourself.
My brain is always running. Creating and destroying worlds every minute. Before I have a conversation with someone, you can believe I have had the conversation dozens of times over in my head, plotting possible arguments, disagreements, etc and making sure I’m prepared for them. Generally, this would be a positive thing, as it means that I am prepared to defend my position no matter how the other person responds. While that sounds great, it generally only leads to my starting the conversation on the defensive, which is never beneficial.
Along these same lines, whenever I’m going to be confronting someone about a problem, or if I have a controversial question of some sort, I will play the conversation over and over again, always looking for the worst-case scenario. As a result, I go into the situation expecting rejection. But, of course, that’s when I even begin the conversation. Most of the time, I convince myself so thoroughly that the conversation is going to go poorly, that I never even bring it up. This has lead to untold losses in friendships, opportunities, or knowledge.
Perhaps, then, the thing I hate most about myself is not that I over-think things; rather, the thing I hate most about myself is that I lack the confidence to pursue something because it might go poorly or it might fail. Is that cowardice? I suppose so. That’s what I hate most about myself.