Archive | 30 Days of Truth RSS for this section
December 5, 2010 

30 Days of Truth 5: Bucket List

(An on-going project to discover truth in and about ourselves. See the others here)

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Since this wouldn’t be so helpful if I just said “everything,” I wrote about this a little the other day, and my biggest dream is to get a PhD. I’m a big fan of academia, and I want to pursue that love to its logical end, and that’s a PhD. I want to write that dissertation. Become a world expert in that highly specific topic.

Also, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t think it would be cool to be referred to as “Doctor Fontaine.” But, hey, doesn’t that just sound good? Admit it. You’re jealous.

But in a different vein, a single experience I would like to have in this life is space travel. I don’t mean inter-space travel, from our solar system to another. I would settle for the moon. I want to see the earth from above, to look out and see the earth rising on the horizon, to be able to stand for a few hours and watch as Europe passes by, melting into Asia. As Asia fades away into vast ocean.

I want to be separated from certain terrible death by just a bit of steel. A few inches of fabric, and a plastic face shield. The very idea of leaving the atmosphere is just mind-boggling to me. It’s pretty much the coolest thing I can imagine.

November 28, 2010 

NaBloPoMo Day 28: 30 Days of Truth 4

(An on-going project to discover truth in and about ourselves. See the others here)

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

This is a tough one. As a general rule, I don’t stay mad for very long. At least, not any more. In days past, I was quite the grudge holder, but it’s become apparent to me that holding such grudges doesn’t result in anything positive or productive, so I tend to get mad, get over it, and move on whenever someone has wronged me in some way.

The movies and TV have a common trope, “I’ll never forgive you for that!” But, really, I just don’t see that working out in general practice. I mean, I suppose this could be possible in theory, if you were to catch a cheating spouse, or something along those lines, but I’ve never run into that before.

If I had to choose, I have one instance in mind, but I haven’t really thought about it in a while. I once had a person in my life with whom I grew quite close, we’ll call her Susan (since being vague can be confusing). Susan was a great friend. She believed in me, encouraged me, saw talent potential in me that no one but my parents had ever really seen, or at least verbalized. She even helped me through some dark times.

Until one day, there was practically nothing. I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know why there was such a sudden disconnect, but disconnect we did. The break was dazzlingly abrupt, and will forever go without explanation. I was pretty disenfranchised with people when this whole thing went down. I just couldn’t imagine how drastically a relationship could shift in such a short time. I was bitter about it, and I was angry. But, I worked around it. Was able to continue on anyhow.

And I guess, I just got over it. It took time, but I’ve found motivation in myself and in the others around me to continue to push, to reach my goals, even if I don’t think anyone really quite gets my goals as well as she did. But, when it’s all said and done, I’m okay. I’m moving forward, if a bit slowly, and that’s what counts.

I forgive you for just suddenly disappearing. It was tough, but it’s all worked out okay.

November 21, 2010 

NaBloPoMo Day 21: 30 Days of Truth 3

(An on-going project to discover truth in and about ourselves. See the others here)

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

When I was in preschool, my cousin and I would very often sneak to the other half of the divided classroom so we could play together, as were were separated between the two teachers. This, of course, was frowned upon, but really, if you’re going to wrangle 4- and 5-year-olds, you should do a better job. I mean, all we had to do was skip through the connected bathroom. In any event, we would often get each other in trouble.

One day, when we were up to our usual shenanigans, we got caught, and we were sent to time-out. We both had to sit, facing a wall. Which, when you’re a hyperactive 5-year-old, that’s the worst thing in the world. Those five minutes may as well have been 5 hours as we sat. Doing nothing. Looking at whatever sort of bodily fluid had managed to get on the wall in front of us. Needless to say, I got bored.

In my boredom, I decided to start talking to my cousin, even though we were expressly forbidden from doing any such thing. It was, after all, time-out. And he, being more cautious than I, curtly shushed me. The only problem was, his shushing was noticed by the teacher and my talking was not. As a result, she came over and scolded him for talking during time-out and would hear nothing of the explanation!

I knew the truth, but my sentence was about to be commuted for good behavior, and I wasn’t about to pass that up. I let him sit there for an extra minute while I rejoined the rest of our friends. I was such an asshole.

Now, almost 20 years later, I have decided that it’s finally time to let go. I need to forgive myself this transgression, and I now formally apologize.

Dan, I’m sorry for letting you rot in the clink while I had juice and graham crackers. I hope, some day, you can forgive me, too.

November 14, 2010 

NaBloPoMo Day 14: 30 Days of Truth 2

(An on-going project to discover truth in and about ourselves. See part 1.)

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

It’s now 8:30PM. I started this post at 7:00 this morning, and I have 19 words written. While I haven’t been sitting here staring at it the whole time, I have been thinking about the prompt all day long. And I’m still stuck. Is it possible to love a skill? I mean, can I love that I’m good at school? Does that even matter? Anyways, we’ll go with that.

College was an eye-opening experience for me. It made me realize that I really am good at something: academics. School was a breeze, not because I’m smart, but because I just got it. School just clicked; I knew the hoops, I knew how to jump through them, and what’s more, I enjoyed jumping through them. The papers, the tests, the reading, the lectures. I loved every bit of it. And I was GOOD at it. I don’t mean I got a perfect 4.0–I didn’t. But what I do mean, is that for the classes I enjoyed, I really excelled.

So I guess that is what I love about myself, because it’s given me a passion for learning, education, and academics. My aspirations of professorship are on hold for now, but how many people’s plans weren’t put on hold due to the economic downturn? But I’ll get there eventually. And I will do well, because it’s my cup of tea. It’s my niche. It’s what I’m good at. And I love that about myself.

« Newer Entries
Older Entries »