(An on-going project to discover truth in and about ourselves. See the others here)
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
When I was in preschool, my cousin and I would very often sneak to the other half of the divided classroom so we could play together, as were were separated between the two teachers. This, of course, was frowned upon, but really, if you’re going to wrangle 4- and 5-year-olds, you should do a better job. I mean, all we had to do was skip through the connected bathroom. In any event, we would often get each other in trouble.
One day, when we were up to our usual shenanigans, we got caught, and we were sent to time-out. We both had to sit, facing a wall. Which, when you’re a hyperactive 5-year-old, that’s the worst thing in the world. Those five minutes may as well have been 5 hours as we sat. Doing nothing. Looking at whatever sort of bodily fluid had managed to get on the wall in front of us. Needless to say, I got bored.
In my boredom, I decided to start talking to my cousin, even though we were expressly forbidden from doing any such thing. It was, after all, time-out. And he, being more cautious than I, curtly shushed me. The only problem was, his shushing was noticed by the teacher and my talking was not. As a result, she came over and scolded him for talking during time-out and would hear nothing of the explanation!
I knew the truth, but my sentence was about to be commuted for good behavior, and I wasn’t about to pass that up. I let him sit there for an extra minute while I rejoined the rest of our friends. I was such an asshole.
Now, almost 20 years later, I have decided that it’s finally time to let go. I need to forgive myself this transgression, and I now formally apologize.
Dan, I’m sorry for letting you rot in the clink while I had juice and graham crackers. I hope, some day, you can forgive me, too.