Today, I will tell you two stories. One of these stories affirms my rapidly dwindling faith in humanity and one that rebuts it.
Story the first:
Today in my Marriage and the Family class (I am getting a minor in Psychology), we were talking about the roles of gender in the family. The questions were raised, as they always are, about what makes a person a man or a woman, apart from the obvious anatomical disparities. People began rattling off answers about how men are providers, stoic, leaders, etc. I’m sure you can name the stereotypes. For the women, answers such as home maker, mother, and the rest of those commonplaces were thrown around.
I sat quietly, listening. When the answers slowed down, I raised my hand to chip in my thoughts on gender (which you might remember). Basically, I think gender is overemphasized, and that in today’s increasingly androgynous world, gender lines are getting blurred, and I don’t see the big reason to worry about it. I pointed out that I am not particularly stereotypically masculine in a lot of ways, which has come up in previous discussions in the class.
Today, though, I guess the topic came up one too many times, and from behind me, I heard one of the guys say , “Fag.” Much muted sniggering followed. Typically, I’m not too phased by this sort of thing. I’m quite comfortable in both my masculinity and in my heterosexuality, so I don’t really have anything to hide, but being that I go to a Christian University, and given that this is an upper division course, I figured my thoughts and ideas would be met with a bit more decorum and respect. I would be lying if I told you that it didn’t sting a little.
Story the second:
Being that I go to a Christian school, we have mandatory chapels. Sometimes, these chapels are just onerous, but every now and then, we get a good speaker who really catches our attention. The speaker today was of the latter sort, and I was delighted when I heard he was speaking. He told us a modernized version of the Woman at the Well story. In the end, the woman in the modernized vesion was asked what she would want if she had three wishes. It ultimately came out that she wasn’t so much interested in money or being away from where she was so much as she was wanting forgiveness, a way to start over, and someone to love her.
The speaker concluded by challenging us to ask someone who looked down or alone what they’d want if they had three wishes, in an attempt to try to help them out a little bit. Later that day, as I was sitting on a bench outside, letting the sun wash over me, someone I had never seen before walks up to me, and with a half-smirk asks me what I’d want if I had three wishes. Apparently, I looked depressed.
I looked the person in the eye and said, “That’s not really a hard question for me. I’d like someone I love very much not to be sick. I’d like for the world to stop spiraling into war. And lastly, I’d like for every family who has lost someone in the war to get an answer for why they had to sacrifice a loved one.”
The person stammered for a minute, before I assured him (or her) that it was ok if no answer was coming. No one else seemed to have one. The person said thanks and walked off. A few minutes later, the person came back and sat down next to me. Apparently, this person had lost an uncle in Afghanistan a while back. I had no idea who I was talking to, but I just listened. I just sat there and absorbed every piece of information offered about her uncle, his unit, when he was supposed to come home. After a few minutes, the person looked up at me and said, “Thanks. I needed to get all of that out,” and left.
I don’t know who it was, and I don’t know if I will ever see him (or her) ever again, but that was a day that got better not because I was doing anything, but because I looked like I was in need of some cheering up.
Life’s funny that way. Sometimes you set out to help someone out, but you end up getting the help you need instead. Maybe we aren’t so screwed up after all.
I’ve got an idea that I’ll post about in a few days, after I let it roll around in my head, letting the gaps fill themselves in Katamari style. In the mean time, what are your stories of human kindness or of human cruelty that you’ve seen or experienced? Either post them in the comments, or leave a comment with a link to your own entry, and I’ll put them all together in a nice list and post it in a few days, after you’ve had some time to write your own stories.
crap. I had a long thing typed up about some cruelty at work from the past few weeks and accidentally closed the tab.
in short there was a woman at work that basically got stabbed in the back after only being there a few months and she went back to the branch.
there is more drama at my workplace than any highschool in the world. it really makes me sad sometimes. though it even makes me laugh sometimes as well.
oh hey I didn’t actually close the tab. it was lost amongst about 10 others and I found it. haha! I’m losing my mind I guess.
we had a new person join the office group a few months ago. after not being fully trained on their job, forced to work on projects that are not related to her job, and having to deal with a cynical, bitchy boss she was called in to the head bosses office. she was told that she was a disappointment and had not kept up on her duties.
she was totally kicked to the curb and noone even tried to defend her. the next day she went back into the head bosses office and explained some of the reasons that caused her lack of performance on her main duties. this seemed not to help as I learned today that she has gone back to working in the branch.
hows that for some cruelty?
jake: That’s some serious suckage right there. Seriously, I don’t understand how businesses expect to be successful if they don’t train their employees, then fire them when they don’t cut the mustard. It’s just retarded. Thanks for sharing!
This post was so inspiring!
I do have a small tale; back in the summer I was working at a recreational group for the developmentally handicapped. I was working alongside 3 other people doing the same job of coordinating volunteers, planning and executing events and recruiting more volunteers. I worked with two students in university and one guy in high school.
One of the university students was on a high horse because she had the opportunity to travel to Korea and teach English. She often tried to belittle me and make me feel beneath her because of her experiences. One day in particular sticks out in my head: the 4 of us where sitting in the sitting room waiting for our boss to start the meeting, and she decided to tell me that in Korea I would have to bow down to the three of them because they were all older and people in Korea are big on respecting their elders.
Keeping a straight face, I pointed out the fact that the guy we worked with was a year younger then I was. Again, she came up with a million other reasons why I was “beneath them”.
Annoyed, I told her that I may be younger but my belief is that everybody is equal and you should speak to everybody with respect and understanding, even a three year old, because everybody has something to teach you.
That definitely shut her up!
When my boss and I sat down to create a Women’s Ministries newsletter for our church, she was adamant about one thing only — that it have something to do with the story of the woman at the well. We decided to name it At the Well, and the article on the front page was a letter from my boss explaining her passion for creating an environment where women could have their needs met, regardless of where they were in life. It was the first time that I really began to appreciate how much she really cared for the hurting, the confused, the weary, and even the healthy and the strong.
That said, I’m glad that you were able to meet this person exactly where they were in life, without being judgmental or impatient. You’re a good listener and a good friend, even to people you don’t know, and I really admire that about you.
Sarcastica: I hate it when people think they’re so much better just because they’ve done this or that. It’s what you DO with that experience that really counts.
Rachelskirts: That’s awesome! Thanks so much for the kind words.
oh Tyler, I love how when people ask you a question half seriously, like In story two, you can just give them a dead serious response without a blink. it really got on my nerves early on though lol
and if I haven’t told you yet how much I enjoy your blogs and your amazing outlook on life, consider it stated :-)
Sethly: Fixed that typo for ya, bud. ;) Also, I tend to just take things at face value, for better or worse.
Also, thanks for that! I’m glad you like it here.